Sometimes you WIN. Sometimes you LEARN.

A letter to my son after soccer tryouts...

Dear Tyler,   

I just want to tell you how proud I am that YOU are my son. YOU are amazing. YOU are incredible. YOU are a legend. We love & adore you so much, & it’s hard for me (& Daddy) to explain to you what we feel when you are upset, which is why I’m writing this letter. You worked so hard this week at soccer tryouts. You made the effort to go to bed early, hydrated all day & worked your tail off at tryouts. We are so proud of your work ethic, focus & determination. It broke our hearts to read texts messages stating that 3 of your buddies & teammates made the team, but our phones were quiet. 

     When your heart hurts, my heart hurts right along with yours… times a million. I love you unconditionally. To love you unconditionally also means that I have to allow you to experience hard life lessons like failure. I actually want you to make lots of mistakes and experience failure now so that Daddy and I can be here to lift you up, encourage you, guide you and show you how failure is just success in progress!

Here is a little secret you might not know yet. We don’t expect you to do things perfectly. IN FACT, we expect you to FAIL more than you SUCCEED! You are very capable of success in your life, but you really haven’t had much practice with failure. Practice with anything makes us better & failure teaches us valuable life lessons.

You see, Ty-guy, this might sound crazy, but failure is just as important as success. In fact, there are times when it might be more valuable than success. When we fail to meet a goal, we develop a DRIVE to work harder. We value an accomplishment more if we failed at it first. Right?!

     So buddy, take that risk and even if you don’t achieve what you want in the 1^st or 2^nd time you try, you will learn more about how to achieve it next time. You will be tougher and stronger for it. You will develop a better understanding of yourself and other people because of it. Compassion, resilience, grit and a strong work ethic are all learned from failure. The more practice we give you to navigate these “bumpy roads” while you are living with us, the better you will navigate tougher roads when you are on your own.

Never forget that Daddy & I love you whether you win or you lose. You are just as capable, just as intelligent and just as clever as anyone in this world. Tyler, you are a legend! You are just going to have to try and keep trying. Don’t you ever give up! Find the strength within you. It is there; look for it. You can accomplish anything you put your mind to, but it will take immense effort & some disappointment along the way.

I will always believe in you & don’t you ever lose sight of your dreams!

           I love you more,

                       Mama xoxo              

“It’s not wanting to win that makes you a winner; it’s refusing to fail.” - Peyton Manning

These are a few of my favorite things

"Let your kids get bored. It's the essential ingredient of childhood. A kid won't begin to use his imagination until he has to dig deep and create something from nothing."  
-Melissa Bernstein, cofounder of Melissa & Doug toys

Bonjourno!

I really have no idea why I feel the need to start every blog with a foreign language but it just feels right. It works for me. I'm still wondering why I even started a blog, but whatever. Here I am again...blogging only to avoid Mount Laundry (calling my name loudly from my bedroom floor).

Anywho, I was doing some pondering during my run today. I was thinking about how much I love getting good ideas from other Mamas & Teacher Friends. I was also thinking about many other random things (what should I eat for lunch, I need to go to the grocery, I look like Vienna from the Bachelor because I haven't gotten a hair cut/high-lights in 6 months etc, etc, etc.) Back to my original idea... it is a lot of fun putting our crazy mama brains together to share good parenting tricks and ideas. 

Below I've listed some of my favorite toys, tricks & books. All kids play and learn differently, so these items may or may not work for your kids. They also may be things you've heard of a thousand times. Either way, it's fun to share.
           
1st up- USE WHAT YOU HAVE:

What do my three kids play with most? Cardboard boxes, Tupperware, my cooking utensils, blankets & tables for forts, paper/pencils/crayons/markers, mud, sticks, dress-up clothes and other weird random items. I always tell my kids, "Only boring people get bored!" Kids naturally love to use their imaginations. I try to do my best to just let my kids be kids. 


WASHABLE COLORING PLAY MAT:

This has certainly gotten a lot of use in our house. My kids love lying on their tummies and coloring away! We always use washable markers and when they are finished, I throw the mat in the wash and it's ready for next time.  This is also great for play dates since multiple kids can color at a time.

Washable Coloring Mat

DO-A-DOT ART:

I know a lot of preschools use these paints, but I thought I would mention them anyway. These are easy & clean paints that are easy to whip out at a moments notice.  You can get them online at Lakeshore Learning (my favorite store in the whole wide world).

http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/

TEGU BLOCKS:

My boys LOVE these blocks.  I am a big fan of simple toys (like these) that require imagination. My kiddos will build houses, animals, cars, etc and then incorporate little lego figures to live in "Tegu-land". Tegu blocks are high-quality wooden, magnetic blocks. They are a bit pricey, but are very well-made. I tend to gravitate toward quality vs quantity when it comes to toys. Why? Because for years, crappy little plastic toys would often break or get played with for about a week, and then would sit the corner collecting dust (I also hate clutter). Again, your kids may love those kind of toys. That's fine too. We definitely have plenty of those toys in our house as well. (I'm all for "whatever works!") I'm sure there are also certain toys in your home that stand the test of time. These Tegu Blocks stand the test of time in our house, and my plan is to keep these Tegu Blocks forever. They are a timeless toy. If I'm blessed with Grandkids, they can play with these too.

http://www.tegu.com/

  

HOUR GLASS TIMERS (yellow is 3 minutes & blue is 5 minutes):

Young kids don't seem to have a very good concept of time. I quickly figured this out after hearing, "Mama! Is it time to get out of time out yet?!?!" My Mom suggested these amazing, visual timers to get rid of that minor headache in my day. (Shout out to my Mom: she's been a teacher for 20+ years and has an amazing gift for teaching and loving kids well).  Anyway, when I say "time out", my kids know to grab their timer and head to the rug.  I don't hear from them until they tell me they are done... I give a hug and kiss and we are on with our day.  Also, I know it is typical to assign a minute per year (ex: a 7 year old gets 7 minutes in time out), but these timers only come in 1, 3, 5 and 10 minutes.  Not perfect, but I pick and choose my battles. I don't want to hear whining. This works for me.

http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/

NO MESS PLAY FOAM:

I. Love. This. Stuff.  It consists of lightweight, non-sticky foam that can be squished and shaped to turn into a variety of shapes limited only by the little ones imagination. It's like play dough, but not messy. I will throw it into a ziploc bag and take it with me for kids-on-the-go. The playfoam does not dry out, so kids can take their own time to shape their ideas.

http://www.walmart.com/ip/16621204?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=3&adid=22222222227001210364&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=14085679630&wl4=&wl5=pla&wl6=35003724310&veh=sem#ProductDetail

                                      

ROTATOR PAINTER: 

This is my go-to birthday present. It works for both boys and girls and is reasonably priced. Kids seem to LOVE this toy. I also had one as a child and remember it fondly. It can also be found at Lake Shore Learning. 

http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/

BOOKS, BOOKS and MORE BOOKS!!!:

I am a book hoarder. I LOVE Children's Literature (for my kids and for myself). I was a classroom teacher for 6 years, so I know I have more books than the average joe, but it is easy to accumulate books by sifting through garage sales, using scholastic book ordering, asking moms with older kids for hand-me-downs, etc, etc. I quickly learned as an Elementary Teacher that the BEST thing you can do for your kids, is to read to them. Each and every day. Create a comfy, cozy library for them! It doesn't have to be perfect... just a special place for them to cuddle up with a good book. Here is our library. It took awhile to put this together, but it's an old entertainment center with baskets of books which allows for easy kid-access. 

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CURRENTLY MY FAVORITE BOOK: 

This book does an excellent job describing to kids how being kind & loving to others can also help them too. Schools are doing a fantastic job at tackling the ugly topic of bullying now-a-days, but as parents, we can certainly teach about it at home as well. This book beautifully illustrates how the Golden Rule... "Treating others how we would like to be treated".... has a profound effect on our own lives. I simply love this book.


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-full-is-your-bucket-for-kids-tom-rath/1102216761?ean=9781595620279

Okeydokey people, that's all for now. Again, this site is for Mama encouragement, Mama suggestions and Mama laughter only. Just like you, I don't have the time for negative energy, mean-spirited responses or passive aggressive comments. I'm too tired for that. Let's all work on "fulling up each others' buckets". ALL Moms are AMAZING. No matter what.

PLEASE share with me your own suggestions, tricks & favorite children's books too! I want YOUR ideas, thoughts and stories!!! 

Big hugs! YOU ROCK!

          Yep...

And I shall leave you with this photo: 

After 3 attempts for a "nice smile", this is what I get. Love him. Love this photo too...perfectly imperfect. I dressed him in a super-cute button-down vintage-y shirt this morning, along with adorable distressed jeans. After a 5 minute fit, I told him to put on whatever he wants. Please take note of the food on his face, the marker on his arm and the pants that are ready for an aggressive flood. He's smiling though, so I'm happy too. I love this kid. 

Livin' the Dream...

Welcome. Benvenuto. Aloha. Bienvenue. 

Listen people, I'm not the blogging type. I don't feel like the world wants to know my every move as a mother. I also don't think I have any more "mama knowledge" than any other mom taking the time to skim through this blog. Frankly, I haven't showered in two days and I have enough laundry to fold that would probably outfit a small country. I am FAR from perfect... I have also made plenty of parenting mistakes. 

BUT, I DO love my kids. I love them to the moon and back! I do the best job I can at teaching them, as well as being a good Mama to them. I really try to love my precious children as well as I know how... like many of you. That, my Mama-Friends, is the most important fact. That's all that matters on my blog. Really, that's the only reason I started this "cyber-stopping-point". No one is perfect. We're all just doing the best we can.  

Hi there. My name is Jenny. I have three boys ages 7, 4 and 2. I have SO many things to write about, so many (hilarious & honest) stories to share with you (!!); But, I'll start briefly by just introducing myself. I'm 34 yrs old. I've been married to a loving and supportive husband for over 10 years; whom I truly consider to be my best friend. He travels often being in the field of Sales (which can be challenging at times with three young kiddos). He also drives me crazy at times with his silly annoying habits (Oh please, I know you can all relate, and yes, I annoy the hell out of him too... with MY annoying habits...welcome to marriage), but I love him to pieces. Unconditionally. Through thick & through thin. He is the most amazing Father to my boys. He is also the most loyal guy I have ever met. His laugh is hilarious; yet contagious too. He's a keeper. I hit the jackpot. 

OK, back to me. Haha! I grew up in a wonderful family of 5. I have two younger brothers, so I quickly embraced my love for playing sports - particularly softball (I was a pitcher) and I loved it. I was lucky enough to receive a softball scholarship for my Freshman Year at IU. I officially decided to major in Elementary Education at Indiana University, and realized after my Freshman Year that I wanted to focus on my future. For me (personally), that meant giving up my love for sports (along with my full-ride scholarship...yikes...thanks Mom and Dad for lovingly supporting my decision). Looking back, I believe that I made the right choice... for me.

Ok, so fast-forward 4 years. I graduated from IU and spent 6 years teaching at an Elementary Magnet School (called King Lab, K-8) up in Evanston, IL. I most certainly value everything that I learned about teaching during those 6 years. I loved how our laboratory school was linked to the University of Chicago along with Loyola University. As a result, we were constantly experimenting with new teaching ideas and new curriculum (such as, Everyday Math, which is currently being taught in the Carmel Clay School System). I quickly learned that every kiddo has their own special way of learning, and there are unique ways to teach each and every one of them as an educator. I look back fondly at the incredible friendships I made during that time (I miss my teacher-buddies dearly!!!)... along with ALL that I learned as a teacher (and as a future-parent). I definitely thought I had this "parenting thing" all figured out. It was my major in college! I was an experienced teacher! I mean...I could teach & successfully discipline 24 plus kiddos!! 

NOTE TO TEACHER-SELF: You are stupid. It is COMPLETELY different when you have multiple children under your care for 24 hours a day. Not to mention, they look like you and act like you (crap). I get SO annoyed with teachers/parents that "claim" (mainly on Facebook)that they could "handle other children" (in a retail or grocery line) better than the given parents. GET OFF YOUR HIGH-HORSE parents/teachers who haven't walked in their shoes! Step down, and realize that you are not aware of their detailed situation. You will be humbled by your own children one day. You will most certainly have an "ah-hah" moment when you realize that you were wrong. But, it's OK. We've all been there. Whoops... I shouldn't have judged. 


So anyway... moving on. I (personally) don't think it matters what *&$#@ method you use to "sleep train" your child. It doesn't matter if you use Born Free, Dr. Brown's or Avent Bottles. It doesn't matter if you put your baby on his/her back in a, strangling-burrito--sleep-sack-straight-jacket, every single night because you are/were afraid that they might die if you do something different (I'm confident that "sleep methods" will soon change in about 5-10 years. Our kids will soon talk about how they 'survived' the "burrito-swaddle-on-your-back-method". ha! PS-we all slept on our stomachs and lived). I hate to break it to you people, but if you breast-fed your child for 50 years (or 5 months), your kid probably isn't going to be smarter than Bobby Joe who was bottle fed from birth. Hey, I breast fed all three of my kiddos until they were 7 months, 9 months and 1 year old. It was HARD WORK! SHEESH! I can confidently say that my kiddos are succeeding in school...I'm very proud of them... I also didn't have to pay for formula. I'm also sure that they are succeeding equally along-side all of their bottle-fed peers.

Unfortunately, I truly believe that The Mamas of today are very caught up in the world of Facebook and/or Pinterest. I'm guilty too. There seems to be a pressure from the "cyber-world" to be perfect and to do it all. You (and I) may spend spare hours at night (instead of showering) sorting through the Facebook or the Pinterest Feed. Maybe you just spend your extra hour thinking about how your friend, or the Mom down the street, seems to have it 'all figured out'.  

***BREAKING NEWS: NOT TRUE***

INTERNAL DIALOGUE: "She's always happy, well-dressed, in great shape and her kids always seem to be well-fed and well-behaved."  OR... Maybe... you think about how you wish you could go back to work so that you could just have some ME time. You know, go to the bathroom without an audience ?? I get it. Ok, now turn the page. Maybe you work because you want to set a good example for your son/daughter by working hard each day at a job that you love. Or, maybe you are (internally) glaring at the moms who have the financial means to stay at home & be with their kids on a daily basis while you work your tail off to earn some extra money for your sweet family. You totally rock too. A lot. 

If you are a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) or a working mom (WM), I just want to take a minute to say that YOU ARE AMAZING. 
Each. And. Every. One. Of. You.  NO ONE may understand or respect how much you sacrifice for your family. NO ONE may understand or respect how hard you work from the minute you wake up until the minute your head hits the pillow. And, can I please ask, from a "Switzerland-peacemaking-neutral-standpoint" that ALL moms support each other, not judge, and (please) love one another well through this crazy-parenting-journey? Merci beaucoup.

So... if you haven't noticed already, the reason I am blogging, is because I would like to connect on an honest, REAL basis with other Mamas out there. Being a parent is freakin' HARD! 

Parenthood. There are days when being a Mama finds me feeling invisible, defeated, upset & insecure. There are also days when being a Mama finds me feeling incredibly blessed, hopeful, unconditionally loved & joyful. It is the hardest job in the world, but (on most days) I am also convinced that being a parent is the most important job in the world.